no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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