I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
