So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
