This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just invented taco cereal.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
