i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
