So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
