My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
third nipple confirmed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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