it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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