I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
And then he peed in my hair
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