it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dick very happy bro
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
