If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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