morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
