dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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