A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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