Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
