Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Damn victory sex feels great
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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