you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
