no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
