I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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