dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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