She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
