Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
