Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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