I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
