some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize