he puts the penis in happiness.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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