im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
