I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
