apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
