No, drunk sperm still make babies.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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