I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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