It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
