Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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