I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
