Pants 0. Shit 1.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
