yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
