Can Purell be used as lube?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
