Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
