That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
