How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
