I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
