you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
