i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
