The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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