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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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