I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
