We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
