So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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