You can't special order awesome
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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