Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
