his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
