you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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