hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
