Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
