PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
