Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
