I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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