Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
