The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
high people should be assigned attendants
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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