I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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